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May 29, 2002
Daryl Van Horne
How can a man so repulsive, so disgusting, and so damn horny get three hot chicks like Michelle Pfeiffer, Susan Sarandon, and Cher to do his bidding? Somewhere there is an answer. Hell knows where it is.
The truth is, however, that Daryl Van Horne has many secrets and his power over these beautiful women and the rest of the small town of Eastwick is simply one of them. He has seemingly boundless supernatural powers and the ability to sway even the most docile of elementary school teachers into a veritable blaze of lustful rage.
He's got plans for his women, of course, but his struggle to control them and his own animalistic desires are too much to overcome in the end. One question remains, however: Is he the devil? No one can say for sure, but in the long line of Devilish creatures in motion pictures, Mr. Van Horne is right at the front.
INTELLIGENCE - 7: Not all-knowing, but certainly most-knowing. Very clever and even imaginative.
POWER - 9: The powers of flight, telekinesis, and telepathy. Kinda like the X-Men without Logan's knives or the Professor.
VILENESS - 8: Gleefully terrorized the community, particularly Felicia Alden, who was never the same after the cherry incident.
SWAY - 10: His influence is elevated by the thick layer of charm and smarm he applies to every word he utters. How else do you explain him scoring three hot chicks?
PURITY - 8: He's got a great plan up his sleeve, but is too emotionally unbalanced to see things through.
PHYSICAL - 2: Listen to Cher's speech again about Daryl Van Horne again and this rating won't surprise you.
TOTAL: 44
Posted by Destro at May 29, 2002 05:21 PM