« Mr. Feather | Main | Edgar »
June 11, 2002
Biff Tannen
Biff Tannen is the big bully from school we've always wanted to forget, but in the case of Back to the Future, he was the bully that Mom and Dad tried to forget. Lucky for Marty McFly, he gets to travel back in time and not only rid his parents from Biff's abuse, but he removes them from Biff's shadow over the years, making things better by bumping into a few pivotal points in time here and there. In doing so, Marty brings to an end a long line of terrorizing Tannens in Hill Valley.
In the universe of BTTF, Biff would never go so far as to kill anyone, but that doesn't mean he didn't try, especially when Marty shows up in 1955 and tries to steal "his girl," Lorraine a.k.a Marty's own mom. At his worst, Biff is a pompous egotist who demands loyalty from his idiotic band of cohorts no matter what time he's living in. He's also an incredible murderer of the English language and it's many fine metaphors. At best - for everyone else - he's a simple, submissive goof who occasionally waxes cars. In the end (of BTTF III, that is), Biff is no longer a concern (it's a Red Hot Chili Pepper instead). But it's that Tannen threat - and a time machine - that helped turn Marty and his parents from scared underachievers to upstanding citizens.
INTELLIGENCE - 4: Biff's about as smart as a screen door on a battleship, or something like that.
POWER - 7: He's the Big Man on Campus with the muscle to match.
VILENESS - 6: Has a serious vile streak, even as a high school senior, but especially as a greedy, power-hungry casino owner.
SWAY - 7: Uses intimidation to get his way, which works on most of the high school population, but not all.
PURITY - 7: Shows unique drive to accomplish certain goals, like trying to kill Marty or promising to marry Lorraine.
PHYSICAL - 5: Big and dumb as a teenager, but frightening from a fashion standpoint in the 80's and beyond.
TOTAL: 36
Posted by Destro at June 11, 2002 10:07 AM