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June 05, 2002
Mr. Feather
The Man's right-hand man knows a little bit about "black culture" since it's obvious he's having a hard time keeping it out of his own personality. Spouting off such phrases as "Y'all gonna make me lose my mind up in here!" simply enrages him further, especially since his archenemy is Undercover Brother, agent of the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D. (Don't ask me what that stands for.)
Mr. Feather (Chris Kattan) carries two sleeve-hidden blades that would make Wolverine nod in approval. His fighting skills are good and his love of evil admirable. However, Feather is simply not strong enough to present a real threat to the likes of the funkified Undercover Brother, the most charismatic lover-and-a-fighter since Pootie Tang sined yo pitty on the runny kine. That's why when The Man wanted results, he brought in the big guns: White She-Devil (Denise Richards). Yup... Big guns.
Across the board, Feather lacks in too many Mofo categories, especially a true vile streak and physical size and strength. While Shang Tsung enjoyed sucking the souls out of his adversaries, Mr. Feather hopes to make "black people of all races" simply lose their soul. It's just not the same, and Mr. Feather's score on the Mofo Board certainly shows that.
INTELLIGENCE - 5: For a top lieutenant, he does far more complaining than actual plotting of evil.
POWER - 6: A skilled fighter but short on muscles (not to mention short in general).
VILENESS - 5: He touched Undercover Brother's 'fro? "Oh man, you gonna pay for that!"
SWAY - 6: Gets his way by screaming, not unlike a little girl. Does seem to work though.
PURITY - 6: Certainly evil, but he simply cannot contain his inner blackness. No diggity, no doubt.
PHYSICAL - 4: Dresses smoothly, but it's tough to be intimidated by a villain carrying a feather.
TOTAL: 32
Posted by Destro at June 5, 2002 03:43 PM