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July 17, 2003

Hans Gruber

That Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party of 1988 sure was one crazy party, huh? Well, if you didn't make it, you missed the appearance of the internationally-feared German terrorist Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) and his band of thieves taking over Nakatomi Tower and holding the entire company hostage. If it wasn't for the NYPD's own John McClane (Bruce Willis), things might have gotten really out of hand.

Hans Gruber was quite the mastermind, though, assembling a team capable of breaking through a number of high-level security measures to infiltrate the main vault in search of hundreds of millions of dollars of negotiable bearer bonds. On the way, he personally killed Joseph Takagi, the company CEO, and was deft enough to keep both the hostages and his own crew together while distractions like McClane were running around the building screwing things up for him. At one point, Hans would find himself on the wrong side of the building, coming face-to-face with McClane himself and pretending to be a company employee. It wasn't entirely believable, but it was strong enough to buy himself the opportunity to get back with his German compadres.

It was Hans Gruber who anticipated the FBI shutting down the building's power, thereby allowing his gang to open the vault. It was Hans Gruber who told his right-hand man Karl to "shoot the glass," inflicting further injury to McClane. And it was Hans Gruber who discovered McClane's wife was among the hostages, setting up a showdown between the thief and the cop with her caught in the middle. Unfortunately, it was Hans Gruber who fell out a window, ending his felonous plans, and setting up a little revenge story we like to call Die Hard with a Vengeance.

INTELLIGENCE - 8: Whether it's dealing with hostages or acting like one, Hans knows just buttons to push and always stays in charge.

POWER - 5: Average physical ability.

VILENESS - 8: The lives of hostages mean nothing to a man hoping to use their explosive demise for his own getaway.

SWAY - 9: Uses intimidation, scare tactics, even humor to get what he wants.

PURITY - 9: Terrorist? Thief? No matter what the label is, he is a murderous felon.

PHYSICAL - 5: His calm, cool, and collected delivery of every word outweighs the need for any classic villain costume.

TOTAL: 44

Posted by Destro at July 17, 2003 10:04 AM